Future Fel

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I've mentioned repeatedly that I'm frustrated with where my writing "career" is at present (though to be fair I've had a reasonable amount of success with short stories - the best money I ever got was $500 for the Scarlet Stiletto, and the coolest moment was seeing a story translated into Polish and illustrated). I decided to write a blog entry to prove to my later, more successful self that I always knew things would work out eventually. The following dialogue is set somewhere in the next five years (I'm hoping for this time next year, but we'll just see about that).

Me: Wow, hi FutureFel, nice phone.

FF: Hi.

Me: So tell me, how is your life now? Still crazy? Still in debt? Still with Tim? Still writing? Still collecting novel rejections like trophies?

FF: Well, to take the obvious bits first - yes of course I'm still writing, still collecting novel rejections, and of course I'm still with Tim. Tim and I have been married a little while now.

Me: ooOOOOoooh! How's that working out?

FF: It's a big change, and it's completely terrifying.

Me: Hmm...so still crazy then?

FF: Yep, of course. I'm still on govvie benefits, as a matter of fact.

Me: Oh. That's kind of pathetic.

FF: I'm over it. You really should try getting over it yourself, you know.

Me: I'll see what I can do.

FF: Please. On the other hand, I'm hoping to be earning a living again within the next twelve months. Things are reasonably okay, it's just that there's so much change happening I knew I'd better hold back and not try to become a contributing member of society JUST yet. Plus, just last week [insert startling and upsetting accidental event here, eg unexpected pregnancy, car accident, divorce of best friend, death in family] happened, and that's going to throw things out for at least the next few months. On the other hand [rambling details of which unpublished books are at which stage with which publisher].

Me: Wow. So. . . not published yet.

FF: No. . . but guess what?!?

Me: WHAT?

FF: I've just finished negotiations with [insert name of reasonably-sized publisher here], and sold them one of the trilogies!

Me: That's fantastic! That's just what I've been waiting for for 10-15 years! How do you feel?

FF: Good. Scared. Mostly good. I can't wait till the contract's sorted and I get the first chunk of cash. I'm getting $9000 altogether, but a lot of that will effectively vanish into my government payments. I'll still be able to spend/waste a chunk on advertising, though not as much as I'd like.

Me: And the debt?

FF: Yes, I'll be paying off a chunk of debt, too, though until I get paid - which could be up to three years for all the bits - I don't know how much I'll be able to pay.

Me: That's depressing.

FF: Yeah. I hate not knowing where I stand. At the moment I have nightmares about the books not selling to the public. I dreamt that my contact at [publishing company] posted a shredder to my house and asked me politely to let them back out of the contract, since they'd made a terrible mistake. Then I had a dream she was a zombie, and she ate the book herself. Also the editing process is driving me nuts. I can barely stand to be in the same room as the proofs, and I'm eating to much chocolate. (Though clearly not as much as you. SO glad I'm not you any more.)

Me: So speaking of your craziness. . . What effect is the contract having on that?

FF: It's slowly seeping through now that I was right all along - I am worth publishing; I wasn't deluding myself.

Me: But didn't you know that all along?

FF: Yes. I did.