The $850 whine

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AAARRRRGGGGG!!!!

I have (at present) six employers. In order of most to least pay per week, here they are, with insulting names given in order to protect (yet still be rude to) the guilty.

1. Lord and Lady Scamalot: Blessed be they, for they at least pay me on the correct day, and have done so each fortnight. Unfortunately, they have never yet paid me correctly. On the up side, they do recognise their faults when I point them out, and I get the money the following fortnight. On the down side, I rely on them to pay rent with. On the up side, I'm not of fixed abode, so that's not currently an issue. Not exactly, anyway. . . It's difficult and costly to look and act professional while lugging your wordly goods around in your handbag (by which I mean my car. . . same thing).

2. I. P. Freely: Cursed be this tutoring agency [notably NOT the one I quit last year], who informed me blithely that (a) I'd be paid in a lump sum in 2 weeks. (b) I'd be paid in a lump sum in 2-3 weeks. (c) The cheque only just arrived 'today' and it needs to clear. (d) Pay is the manager's job, not mine.

repeat (c) and (d) two more times (it seems every time I email them, they've just received a cheque).

I have received one lump sum of three that I'm owed. One is now two months late, one is about a month late. (Luckily it's pay "in advance" so it's arriving before I've actually finished the entire ten-week course. So far.)

3. Miss Direction: Has paid me once, on time and correctly. Like a fool, I thought it would continue. She should have given me $90 yesterday. She gave me nothing - no money, no weak excuse, nothing. She just forgot. I queried her husband, who said she'd call. She didn't.

4. The Male Box: A relation (so in a sense, utterly trustworthy - I know he's not a con man, just an idiot). I asked him once if I could stop reminding him to pay me. He said no. So, when pay from him is due, I email or call him each day until, finally, he deigns to respond. (Sometimes he says, "yes I've paid you" but forgets the pay part.)

5. Em Knot: A friend, so very similar in practice to The Male Box - I trust them to pay me, but have no idea when. They don't bother seeing payment as an issue, so I am forced to remind them. Over and over and over.

This couple has taken the game to a new level, which involves them losing THEIR records, making stuff up, and then bringing their quaint theory (namely, that they've already paid me) to my attention.

6: The $17.50 Goddess: This lady is absolutely reliable, always on time (despite the fact she's a single mum and I know she's short on cash), and is the only person I've ever met who has as much integrity as I do. She is the one shining light of my dank payment cave. Every fortnight, right on time, I get. . . $35.

I think I'll call #2 again today. I've already SMSed #4, and I'll neaten up my records ready for confronting #5 this afternoon. I see #3 on Friday, so I'll give her that window before I get officially annoyed (unofficially, I want to scratch out her eyeballs.)

At present, those four owe me a total of $850. Convinced as I was that one of them would pay me by now, I have $10 in the bank.

I am very good at living on $10 for days at a time. But I can't do it and do a full day's work. So I'll also be chucking a partial sickie today. Which of COURSE I won't be paid for.

Fel

Image by Daniel Y Go
Courtesy of Creative Commons