Been another bloody-bender weekend,

Zip into home just to get my phone,

Pull out my comb while the streets I roam,

Monday morning looking like a half-tanked gnome.

I like to press play on my wicked tech system,

I play the shit loud: the whole bus can listen.

Tie my shoes up; yeah I tie ‘em good,

Just like a first year student would.

Pull the strings tight just above the nape,

Then I go ape: forgotten my lecture tape.

Jump off the bus and then I head for home

God I love life in the student zone…

Grab my damn tape, grab a bite to eat:

Insert a few bleeps due to lack of sleep.

Pat the dog quick then collect my bag,

Sprint t’ward the door like a runner with jet lag.

Trip once again on the darkwood stairs;

Hit the deck hard while my dog just stares.

In a couple of seconds I’ll be out the door

No wonder bloody uni students never look bored.

Couldn’t be slower, gotta be late,

Judging by the state of my half-awake face.

A quarter past nine, not a second to lose;

Shake of the booze and like a bullet I move.

Shoot across the campus, say hello to Marcus,

Into the lecture - I drop like carcass.

Fall through the isles, down a flight of stairs;

The others look on like they actually care…

Take a long punt: sit down the front.

I end up positioned like a Shaolin monk.

[image by CLG]