The program I speak of is of course Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. This is certainly not your run-of-the-mill cooking show. It in fact provides a hardcore, brutally honest and often stomach-churning peek (more like a zoom-in, actually) into how restaurants are really managed. Basically, restaurant owners approach world-renowned chef Gordon Ramsay to review their establishment; he assists with recreating the menu, décor and overall management of the business and therefore increases its revenue significantly. All of this plus countless ‘f’ words being flung from Ramsay’s potty mouth make for great entertainment. 

What perplexes me though is the vast amounts of denial the restaurateurs display upon Gordon offering his expertise. The irony is that they approached him to salvage their businesses from the depths of failure. Although, when Ramsay shoves months-old, rotten foodstuffs riddled with swarming bacteria under the staffs’ noses, they stand there like stunned mullets. Or, they may just be completely flabbergasted by two things. One, the close proximity of Gordon’s road-map face and two, his voice’s extensive number of decibels; equivalent to the total of cockroaches scuttling across the kitchen. The owners also communicate an air of arrogance; as if they don’t require advice, and shockingly vocalise this to a fuming Ramsay. Okay, so many consider Gordon slightly arrogant too with his lack of remorse and cutting remarks (which are intelligently formed and legitimate, by the way). But he damn well is allowed to be, as his food empire boasts numerous restaurants, cookbooks and television programs, coupled with his boyish charm.

The staffs’ lack of commitment, motivation and sheer laziness often featured on the program validates the question as to why these people enter the hospitality industry in the first place. Owning and managing a restaurant is by no means a walk in the park. If pursued seriously, it involves working endless hours, competing with rival eateries and constantly struggling to make profit. However, Ramsay communicates that with the sufficient drive and passion, success can be obtained. On the other hand, some chefs should consider taking up another profession. Take for instance the loopy chef- the Brazilian ‘nut’ as Gordon labeled him- that had to be evicted by force from his workplace; slung over Ramsay’s shoulder like a toddler.

So now when dining out, it’s as if I carry a miniature Ramsay alter-ego on my shoulder that whispers things to watch for. “Oh dear, I wonder if this chicken is a day old or a year old”, “hmm, that waiter appears a tad bored, I wonder if he realises that the line is snaking out the door onto the street”, “f***in’ hell! These plastic tablecloths look like they belong in my nanna’s era!” (bellowed in Ramsay-style voice). I suppose the most important qualities are that the food is decent (preferably fresh), the service is relatively snappy and the bill doesn’t hack into my savings too dramatically. Although, if I spot a cockroach anywhere near the restaurant I’m at, I’ll give Gordon a ring. Just remind me to turn down the volume on my phone first.